Another Trip around the Sun

Maybe this post is about managing expectations. Maybe it is about new beginnings. But most certainly it is about accepting new paradigms and the resistance that comes up until we do.

As a teacher with a two week holiday break, I recently found myself with a week almost completely to myself. I spent the first week with my young adult children. Then, for the remaining week, my partner was out of town to spend time with his family, and I found myself with a quiet time of solitude and introspection–something my introverted self thrives on. To top that, I had this week to myself during one of my favorite times of the year: New Years. I have always loved 1) reflection, 2) goal-setting, 3) planning and 4) beginnings. So, of course, I love New Years.

So what did I discover during this week? The week started out with the usual New Years’ rituals of refreshment and renewal, such as tidying up; reorganizing areas of my home that have fallen out of order or usefulness–both physical and digital; re-evaluating my current health, relationship dynamics, and work life; and developing new plans and goal setting. The difference this year was an idea that came to me that shifted my paradigm. As I thought about the year that lay ahead, a new phrase came to mind: “Another trip around the sun.” 

Here is how it shifted my paradigm:

Out with the Old and in with the New:

• It reminded me of all the other trips around the sun I have been blessed to have. Thinking of my past in this way halted any regretful, sad, wistful, or nostalgic feelings. Instead, it bred a feeling of appreciation and gratitude–seeing each past year as past opportunities I had. I could also look back on these past trips in appreciation for what I accomplished during each trip.
• I was able to view the upcoming 12 months as an opportunity. Nothing in life is guaranteed, but I was fairly certain I had this year. Also, thinking of how much I had accomplished in one year in the past reminded me of my ability to accomplish something in the year ahead.
• I was able to separate any sense of obligation to continue doing what I was doing and replace it with the idea of choice. This one year lay ahead of me, and it was primed with choices I could make in this one lifetime.

Embracing an Evolving Sense of Identity

• As we get older and we say goodbye to former identities–identities that we sometimes feel like will never end. This can create grief, a sense of loss, and a proverbial glimpse at our own mortality. This is what happened to me a couple years ago after a divorce and the graduation of my first child. My identity as a mother had to shift. My ideas about idealized, eternal love had to be reckoned with reality. Yet, as I embraced the phrase another trip around the sun, I could appreciate each of these trips I had for their gifts and my accomplishments. I could also see each as unique and complete. This allowed me to look at my past identities with gratitude while looking ahead to all the future possible identities I could evolve into, especially in this upcoming year.
• By welcoming this phrase and with it a possibility of a new identity, I have been able to release resistance that I have felt brewing in my body for a few years–resistance against life and its inevitable endings. Each time I meditate on this phrase, in quiet contemplation, my chakras seem to flow a little more freely, and I am reminded there are more gifted moments to come for me, and after me these will continue for others.

FIN

As my week of solitude continued and as life resumed in the new year, the magic of this phrase did not wear out. Today, I sit near the end of February, my birthday just a few days away, and I am still looking in the mirror each morning and saying this phrase to myself, along with the phrase “I am who I am looking for.” This additional phrase, to me, means that I am not done searching, I have more about myself to learn, and I still have more purpose in myself to uncover; it also reminds me to love myself and to view myself and my life as gifts from the creator.

After listening to The Seven Circles: Indigenous Teachings for Living Well by Chelsey Luger and Thosh Collin, I picked up another, symbolic and spiritual ritual to accompany my new maxim: Standing at my east facing window at sunrise (which has been coinciding with when I leave for work), I have taken to opening my arms wide, meditating on my sun mantra and embracing this paradigm that each year, each trip around the sun, is another gift of opportunity and the possibilities on this little globe are endless and within our grasp.